The Tale of an Accidental Time Traveller CH 5

Chapter Five
 
           A little while later, some soldiers shooed me away from where I was sitting and brought in a big blue wooden box.
            “Somebody needs to change interior decorators,” I said.
            “It’s the Doctor’s ship,” said the Brigadier, coming in.
            “Now, all you need to do is borrow a key from the police,” said Dr. Shaw.
            “I’ve got the key here,” said the Brigadier, holding it up. “Henderson found it in the Doctor’s hand.”
            Across the room, a buzzer sounded. The Brigadier went over to an intercom box and pressed the button. “Yes?”
            “Major General Scobie to see you, sir,” said a soldier.
            “Scobie?” asked the Brigadier. “Well, what on Earth? All right, show him up.” He turned off the intercom and turned to face us. “He’s our liaison with the regular army. Got to keep in with him.”
            “You don’t expect us to salute him, I hope?” asked Dr. Shaw.
            “Yeah, because I’m kinda tied up,” I said, jingling my handcuffs. “Unless you’re going to escort me out.”
            “Not enough time,” said the Brigadier. “Keep your head down and don’t say anything. As for you, Miss Shaw, you could bring yourself to be a little less astringent.”
            “I didn’t ask to come here, remember?” asked Dr. Shaw.
            Just then, a short guy wearing a barf green uniform came in surrounded by a bunch of guys wearing similar uniforms.
            “Ah, thank you, thank you,” said the short guy, presumably Scobie. “Sorry to interrupt, Stewart.”
            “Worry not sir,” said the Brigadier. “It’s always a pleasure to see you.”
            “The meteorite operation. Any further?”
            “Not much I’m afraid. We found the fragments of one though, sir. Miss Shaw is studying them.”
            “Ah.”
            There was a pause. Then the Brigadier looked between Dr. Shaw and General Scobie. “Oh, Miss Shaw, General Scobie.” They shook hands.
            “How do you do,” said Dr. Shaw.
            “Ah, how do you do.” General Scobie glanced up at the Brigadier. “Lucky fellow, Stewart, having a pretty face around the place.” In another time, another place, I would’ve given Scobie a verbal lashing. I contented myself with giving him a death glare.
            “She’s not just a pretty face, sir,” said the Brigadier.
            “Oh, no, no,” said Scobie. He cleared his throat and changed the subject. “Newspapers seem to have gone wild over this business…. Dear chap, what are you doing with a police box?”
            “Well, sir–” started the Brigadier.
            “Camouflage, General,” said Dr. Shaw. “It’s not really a police box. It’s a spaceship.”
            “Oh?” chuckled Scobie. “Yes, and I suppose the young chap over there’s the pilot. What’s your name, boy?”
            “Hold up, is he talking about me?” I asked, looking at the Brigadier and Dr. Shaw. “Okay, he needs glasses, because I know for a fact I don’t look that much like a guy.”
            “Miss Jonasson is a… special case,” said the Brigadier.
            “Miss? All right then, why is she handcuffed?”
            “Time travel,” I said. “Because, um, I’m from the future. I was taking a time travel test, and there was a problem with the time-stream, so I ended up in midair above asphalt. I was out for a month, and when I woke up I was worried something bad might happen so I escaped, stole some clothes, and ended up spitting pepper spray into a soldier’s eyes. It happens sometimes, I’m just happy I landed here versus Nazi Germany.”
            There was a long pause.
            “Ho, ho!” said Scobie. “I suppose you failed that test then?”
            “I’ll retake it when I get back,” I said. “It was due to what we call a, um, a whirlpool paradox, so I can’t be blamed or anything. Actually, considering the magnitude of the whirlpool, I did quite well. Whirlpool paradoxes have claimed many an experienced time traveler.”
            “Of course, of course,” said Scobie. “Good luck with that. Say, can you tell me who’ll win the Olympics?”
            “Afraid not,” I said. “There’s, um, laws and stuff.”
            “Ah. Very well then, good-bye.”
            “Good-bye,” said the Brigadier. Scobie left, chuckling to himself. Dr. Shaw and the Brigadier turned and stared at me.
            “I am so sorry, but I panicked and tried to lie, but I’m terrible at lying.” I winced. “At least he bought it.”
            The intercom buzzed.
            “Just a moment,” said the Brigadier, walking over.
            “Whirlpool paradox?” asked Dr. Shaw.
            “Did I mention I was panicking when I thought that up?” I asked. “Because I was. I was totally panicking.”
            “The Doctor’s awake,” said the Brigadier.
            “Really?” I asked.
            “Yes. Also, he stole some clothes and a car, belonging to a chap named Beavis.”
            I laughed.
            “Oh well,” said the Brigadier, “at least he won’t get very far.”
            “You mean, before your men shoot him again?” asked Dr. Shaw.
            “I don’t find that funny. Without this machine, the Doctor’s stuck. He can’t leave Earth.”
            “You were about to open it?” asked Dr. Shaw.
            “Yes.”
            “I think you should,” said Dr. Shaw. “There might be a policeman locked inside.”
            I giggled. “That’s funny.”
“I have to disagree, Miss Jonasson,” said the Brigadier. “Without this machine, the Doctor’s stuck. He can’t leave Earth.”
            He put the key in the lock, but when he tried to turn it, it wouldn’t budge. “That’s odd.”
            “Wrong key,” said Dr. Shaw.
            “Hm,” I said. “Can I try?”
            “Why not?” huffed the Brigadier. “I suppose you know all about time machines, being from the twenty-first century.” He stepped back and handed me the key.
            “I know a bit about technology,” I said, putting the key in the lock. I tried to turn it, but to no avail. “The key fits, alright. It’s the right key, but the lock won’t turn.”
            “Why not?” asked Dr. Shaw.
            “I don’t know.”
            “Perhaps a whirlpool paradox has something to do with it,” said the Brigadier. I stuck my tongue out at him.
            The intercom buzzed again.
            “Busy today,” I said.
            The Brigadier went over and picked up the intercom. “Yes?”
            “The Doctor’s here sir.”
            “The Doctor?”
            “Yes, sir. He says you know him.”
            “Show him up at once.” The Brigadier slammed the receiver down and turned to face us. “How the devil did he find this place?”
“Your mystery man with the mystery box?” asked Dr. Shaw.
            “Yes,” said the Brigadier.
“Nice to know he’s okay,” I said.
            The door opened and the Doctor swept into the room wearing something that looked like it belonged at a steampunk convention. It even had a cape, a tiny little cape that swished as he turned into the room and stopped.
            “Ah, there you are, my dear fellow,” he said. “Oh, hello Sofie. Are they treating you well?”
            “I’ve been better, I’ve been worse,” I said, “but I guess I can’t complain.”
            “That’s good to hear. Now, I expect you’re all wondering how I found you here.”
            “Yes,” said the Brigadier.
            The Doctor rolled up his sleeve and showed us a wristwatch-looking thing that was beeping.
            “Fortunately I had this with me, you see. It homes in on the TARDIS.”
            “Your Apple Watch has a TARDIS locator app?” I asked.
            “What?” asked the Brigadier.
            “Not bad, Sofie,” said the Doctor. “I see you’ve kept the TARDIS safe for me.”
            “I just sat around and looked scary. Dr. Shaw and the Brigadier did most of the work.”
            “Do you have the key?”
            “It’s in the lock,” I said. “We tried it, but the lock wouldn’t turn.”
            “It will for me.” The Doctor leaned over, but before he could even touch the key the Brigadier snatched it up.
            “Not so fast,” he said. “I have a lot of questions to ask you.”
            “My dear Brigadier, it’s no earthly good asking me a lot of questions. I’ve lost my memory, you see?” The Doctor tapped his temple.
            “How do I know that you’re not an impostor?” asked the Brigadier.
            “Ah, but you don’t, you don’t,” said the Doctor. “Only I know that. What do you think of my new face, by the way? I wasn’t too sure about it myself to begin with, but it sort of grows on you. Very flexible, you know. Could be useful on the planet Delphon, where they communicate with their eyebrows.” The Doctor furrowed his eyebrows. “Well that’s strange. How on Earth did I remember that?”
            “Dunno,” I said. “Maybe it’s all going to come back to you in its own time. Hey, have you met Dr. Shaw yet?” I pointed at her. “She’s more of a Scully, but she’s still pretty cool.”
“A Scully?” muttered Dr. Shaw.
            The Doctor wiggled his eyebrows at her. “That’s Delphon for how do you do. Delighted, Dr. Shaw, delighted.” They shook hands. I grabbed a paper clip and picked at the lock on my handcuffs.
            “What are you a doctor of, anyway?” asked Dr. Shaw.
            “Practically everything my dear,” said the Doctor. “Practically everything.”
            The Brigadier sighed and tried to regain order in the room. “From what we can gather, you arrived last night in the middle of a shower of meteorites.”
            “Did I really?” asked the Doctor. “How terribly exciting.”
            “You really know how to make and entrance,” I said.
            “Well, objects from space at any rate,” said the Brigadier. “Also, Miss Jonasson arrived a month earlier. You realize I can’t let either of you go until I’m sure there’s to connection.”
            “I’d settle for having these handcuffs off,” I said. The Brigadier walked over and unlocked the handcuffs. “Thanks.”
            “I’ve no recollection of last night,” said the Doctor. “That’s most unfair. How could I possibly… what are these?” He walked over to the plastic pieces.
“Those are bits of what the Brigadier thought might be a meteorite,” said Dr. Shaw.
“Plastic?” muttered the Doctor.
            “It’s not thermo-plastic and neither is it thermo-setting,” said Dr. Shaw. “And, there are no polymer chains.”
            “But I thought plastic was a polymer,” I said. “Right?”
            “Not in this case,” said the Doctor. “That’s interesting. I wonder what was inside.”
            “Inside?” asked Dr. Shaw.
            “Yes, well, you can tell from the shape this was a hollow sphere.” He held up the plastic piece. “I should think the space inside was about three thousand cubic centimeters, wouldn’t you?”
            I started doing the math in my head. Thirty centimeters was about equal to a foot, so that would make the inside… what, a hundred square feet? That didn’t sound right.
            “What’s that in America?” I asked.
            “About 183 cubic inches,” said the Doctor. I whistled.
            “Do I gather you’re going to help us Doctor?” asked the Brigadier.
            “If I do, will you give me the key to the TARDIS?”
            “Possibly.”
            “Then go away and let Sofie, Dr. Shaw, and I get on with our work, there’s a good fellow.” He turned to Dr. Shaw. “Look, do I really have to call you Dr. Shaw?”
            “No,” said Dr. Shaw, “Liz, just Liz.”
            “Liz,” said the Doctor. “That’s much better. How many of these things actually came down?”
            “About fifty, as near as we can estimate,” said the Brigadier.
            “So, what, about 9,000 inches of cosmic goop somewhere?” I asked. “Yeesh.”
            “And you found only fragments,” said the Doctor, “no whole ones?”
            “One, yes,” said the Brigadier. “But there was an accident. It disappeared.”
            “That seems fishy to me,” I said.
            “Sofie’s right,” said the Doctor. “By the time your search party arrived, the rest of these things had been collected. Collected and taken somewhere. The question is, where?”